Can you be Gay and believe in God?
Written by Ashley Riley, 7/31/2022
There are so many parts of my identity - there is more to me than the part that thinks Carrie Underwood is a hottie. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone defines me as just one thing. I am gay AND I believe in God. I am liberal and the biggest social justice advocate, AND I love America and the American flag. I am for Black Lives Matter AND also believe in the importance of law enforcement. Life is not so black and white and I’m no longer letting anyone put me in a box. My worldview is continuously evolving but I keep educating myself through research, reading, and podcasts. I will always take suggestions for learning material, but I won’t accept hate for my views.
I was just a young kid, and I was craving some sort of God, a higher energy, that would help me through my inner conflict and turmoil. I had no religious background. I had the BEST friends in the world and their parents were not only religious, but they loved me. They were the true definition of religion to me, which is pure LOVE. When someone says I am a sinner for my sexual orientation, I now know they are interpreting literature in organized religion to say something hateful. It’s an interpretation but not the essence of religion. My friend says, “Were they invited to God’s office hours!?” I truly wanted what my friend’s had - a strong faith, a purpose, and a genuine happiness. I didn’t have any of those things. The problem with religion for me was that I didn’t believe I was smart enough to have God. I have always struggled with reading comprehension and there was no way I was going to understand the Bible. I didn’t realize I could have a God and not be a part of any organized religion.
When I was 21, I desperately needed to get sober, and I walked into the rooms of AA. I saw on the wall Step 3, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” I immediately felt at home. I WAS worthy of God in my life. God became the foundation of my life and my sobriety. I also realized that my faith was not dependent on my cognitive abilities. I didn’t have to read the bible, go to church, or even be Christian.
I have had people tell me I am a sinner and going to hell for my sexual orientation. It has hurt me and made me question whether God truly believes this. I am strong enough in my faith today to know that this is not true, at least for me. I am a good person, am extremely resilient, and will always be of service to others. I remind myself this daily. I don’t identify with any organized religion, but I love certain components of all of them. I pray all of the time and I don’t know why but it helps me. Today faith is a backbone of all of what I do. God is love and God loves me exactly the way I am.